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‘You’re weird,’ I write on the first page of my journal when the facilitator asks the Intuitive Writers and Speakers class participants to write their greatest fear during the first class. The other squares on the Zoom screen write their lists. I have one. She said greatest. I could have written getting divorced, losing my mom to cancer or losing my income; but I’ve experienced those journeys and found many pathways to the well of my soul. There isn’t much left to fear anymore.
“Okay, we’re gonna share one fear with the group,” says the facilitator. “Pick one and know that you are supported to share anything here.” Share out loud? Isn’t this a writing class? Mostly? My stomach folds into a twist as I sit with crossed legs in my corner leather club chair in my massage studio with walls painted the color of a womb. In my temple to healing, my safe space, looking at the strangers in squares, I evaluate the question: How safe is safe? “I’m weird,” I say when it is my turn. “What do you mean?” asks the facilitator. I take my last breath of anonymity and focus my eyes just above the small white circle of my laptop camera lens, my face as red as the setting sun. “I see things, spiritual things. Spiritual beings. And talk to them. I am a medical massage therapist and when I work on people, I see the spiritual beings around them, the animals that are working with them to guide their life journey, the settings of their past lives, and the spirits of their recent family members and ancestors who have passed through the veil. I also see people’s spirits which are sometimes not in human form. I have a client who is a mermaid, one who is a pixie and one is a dolphin. I also see people’s original form if their first incarnation was not on Earth, their extraterrestrial form. Also dragons. I work with a council of fourteen galactic dragons. One teaches me inter-dimensional travel when I meditate. They're here for me. Sometimes other people, too. So, that.” An invisible hand starts to close my throat while I try not to look at anyone on the screen. “And I feel called to say this out loud, to normalize my experience and let other people know that what they see or hear or feel beyond their five senses is a gift, an awakening! We are all waking up to these experiences. We all have these abilities. We are all remembering who we are!” Warm tears rise and I feel like it’s the first day of kindergarten. I’m hanging my jacket in the hall locker when the boy next to me says, “Hey, that’s underwear! That goes under. You can’t wear that. We’re not sp’osed to see it.” But I love Wonder Woman. I want to see it. She looks the way I feel. “Awesome,” said the facilitator. “Who’s next?” My stomach unfolds; my legs stay folded. I reach for Kleenex and sip my tea beside me. I feel ostracized. Self-inflicted. I glance at the screen, deaf to the next classmate’s confession with all the blood still rushing in my still body. Well, at least they don’t know me. I glance at the screen again. Six private messages in the chat box. More hot blood rushing. Here comes the stones and torches. But no. As I read each message, they are like nymphs and fairies coming to sit under the wings of a dragon in the storm: ‘I talk to angels,’ ‘I see colors around people,’ ‘I talk to trees.’ ‘I see my grandmother when I go to sleep,’ ‘I feel crystals.’ ‘I see my past lives.’ More than half the class sends me a message, confiding in me their spiritual experiences. I start to cry again - for me, my classmates and for all of humanity feeling afraid to claim their gifts and talents. I dedicate myself to holding workshops, safe sharing circles where people can gather and release the fear of being seen and then be guided into their interior labyrinth where all the answers are waiting for them. I hear a message from my Big Dragon: Call the workshops Trust Yourself. Yes! Because trusting your intuition, your experiences and your questions that command you to seek answers is why we are living this life. Thanks, Big D. That first writing class was an initiation that asked me: Can you stand in a circle of strangers and show your weird, wild self to them, knowing in your heart that you are weirder and wilder than most? Sacred yes! And one more thing I don’t fear anymore. Whew! What’s next? Atlantis Wolf is a Shamanic Life Coach and workshop leader who helps people seeking answers to their medical, spiritual or emotional questions with the help of her spirit guides, power animals and galactic dragons. She’s probably hiking in a forest right now. Or drumming by a fire. DragonMedicineWoman@gmail.com.
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I got the (Pfizer) shot at a mass vax clinic downtown, not in a voting booth or religious gathering place although there are political and religious beliefs in the undercurrent of why people choose to vaccinate themselves against Covid-19. I did it because I trust myself.
When my group (50+) was eligible, I meditated with my team to decide if this was a go or no-go decision for me. My team consists of spirit guides, power animals, dragons and ancestors on the other side of the veil. I "see" them with my Third Eye, not my eyeballs. Through the path of self-discovery in meditation, shamanic breathwork journeys and drumming, I have connected with my team and I trust them to guide me on a path for my highest and best purpose. Your team might be doctors, family, cats or bartenders. It's the same; we all have a team. My team said, "Go!" I signed up and got Vax #1 after a long day at work. The next morning, it was silent. I couldn't hear my team. I couldn't see my team. It was a shock. Disbelief. It was as if I went to bed myself and woke up blind and alone. Instead of banter and constant conversation, I heard the clock tick and a few spring birds outside looking for friends. What happened to the me I know as me? I went back in my memory and remembered how I first saw spiritual beings. It was working on a client in my third floor when I was a few months out of massage school and newly licensed. She was relaxed and laying on her back at the end of a session. My hands were on her shoulders. As I closed my eyes to let Reiki healing energy flow through my hands and into her body, I saw hazy figures around the table. Not for the first time. I said to them, "Show yourself. I'm not afraid of you." A gathering of 8 to 10 beings appeared standing around the table. I didn't breathe in or out, scanning each of them with wonder and curiosity. One pointed from my eyes to my forehead. I said to them, "I've been trying to see you with my eyes instead of my Third Eye." They nodded. So, I fed my cats and went back to bed to meditate and walk the path of Third Eye seeing again. If I did it 11 years ago, I can do it again. I relaxed and imagined my sanctuary space with my black dragon guardian. It's a large room like a single castle tower on the side of a mountain with a fireplace inside and cushioned seating along a long curved window. There is a medicine wheel with a Metatron design on a flat piece of land in the back and in front a ledge where we sit and look at the world. He is black with a gold belly and blue kyanite crystal eyes with green flecks. He's a multi-dimensional shapeshifter. Sometimes he has scales, sometimes feathers. He's always with me. He came into view, grinning over my head with hundreds of alabaster teeth. "There you are!" I said. I hugged him and curled up in my favorite spot deep in the recess of his feathers in the fold of his hip and slept while my physical body made antibodies, learning how to attack and defeat the novel virus, and my spiritual body, my Soul, reconnected with my team. I woke up and felt 90% myself, the me I know myself to be. By the next day, the constant conversation with my team was back. I was relieved and reflective. How can people live without a connection to the Spirit World? When my connection was cut, I felt small, scared and alone. This was a reminder that most people live every day with only their five senses informing their experience of a good day or a bad day. It renewed my focus on offering workshops to help people connect to their own guides and helpers. Everyone has a spirit team. Everyone. No one is alone and I can be a guide to help open the awareness. Message received. Will the vaccine invert my crown chakra? Maybe. I've heard this in my spiritual community. If it does, invert it back. You have unlimited power to control your body. You are the sovereign being over your land. Consider it a lesson in self-transformation. You can do it. I'm afraid of the vaccine. Then don't take it. But are you speaking from fear or from intuition? Are you being controlled by your fear? Are you asking your body what it wants or following the group-mind of your community? No wrong answers. Just reflection. For vax #2, I prepared myself. I walked in to the clinic and was sitting in a chair saying yes to the needle within minutes. I closed my eyes and set my intention to stay connected to my team. A fire dragon came in, swallowed my arm and chewed on the insertion site, transforming the science juice from a soup of chunky boulders - carrying hilts for the swords that were delivered in vax #1 to fight the virus - to vapor that my body could absorb with ease and grace. He moved through my body to the other shoulder and down the right arm, swimming in a circle through my body until it was all dissolved. If only the other 5000 people in the stadium could have seen that, they may have put down their phones and lost track of the 15 minute waiting period. I went home with my team. The next day I had a headache and took aspirin. I napped in the afternoon. By the end of the day, I was 95% back to me without losing contact with my spirit allies. I'm relieved to be vaccinated, excited to start planning summer and fall trips, and humbled by my initiation through invisible fear. I'm ready to meet people in their vaccine experience with potent medicine. May your vaccine path be what you need it to be. Peace, -Atlantis Atlantis Wolf is a Shamanic Life Coach and workshop leader who helps people seeking answers to their medical, spiritual or emotional questions with the help of her spirit guides, power animals and galactic dragons. She’s probably hiking in a forest right now. Or drumming by a fire. DragonMedicineWoman@gmail.com. About two weeks ago, I was meditating with Anubis - sitting across from each other - and asked for a message: please give me a message I can use in my life now. He said, "There is no end."
I pondered the message and unraveled the meaning for myself, for my life. I am a person who carries a heavy load. I'm a single mom to a 19 and 16 year old, own my own medical massage practice (11 years), facilitate a monthly meeting for Shamanic Breathworkers, participate in a writing circle to help birth a book I'm writing about life coaching, participate in a mini-mystery school about the Phoenix archetype with Caroline Myss, take care of 4 cats, council my friend whose mother died last Sunday, and I'm cleaning out my 3rd floor to adopt my daughter's best friend who turns 18 on Apr 17th and needs to leave her alcoholic mother. (Her twin is moving in with another family.) I'll bet each of you can relate to a beautifully busy life as well. So, I tend to push through tasks and goals to 'make it' to Sunday when I rest. Or try to rest. I compartmentalize my life so that every two weeks, when my kids stay with their Dad, I work a long day, see my girlfriends and sleep in and meditate. Every two weeks, I give myself those 4 hours. Again, probably relatable. But I believe Anubis was saying, there is no end to any task or goal. The clean dishes will be dirty again. The kids will need help making dinner again. The clients will need to be rescheduled again. And it will evolve. The book will need a launch and lead to group life coaching. The adopted daughter will need a bank account and help applying to college as an emancipated adult. My kids will get partners and need help deciding if they are a lesson or a life-partner. In other words, if you need to rest - rest now. If you need a break from being a parent, therapist, housekeeper - take a break now. If you need to write - write now. There is no end. There is no break. You will work hard in this lifetime and probably in the afterlife. So enjoy it! Life never ends. It never stops. If you push the ball of life or watch it roll down the mountain, it keeps going. Enjoy the endless drama, the endless story, the eternal Life that flows through you. Thank you for reading this. Thank you for being present. Thank you for being part of the Great Mystery. Peace, -Atlantis Atlantis Wolf is a Shamanic Life Coach and workshop leader who helps people seeking answers to their medical, spiritual or emotional questions with the help of her spirit guides, power animals and galactic dragons. She’s probably hiking in a forest right now. Or drumming by a fire. DragonMedicineWoman@gmail.com. |
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