My Name Is Atlantis Wolf
‘You’re weird,’ I write on the first page of my journal when the facilitator asks the Intuitive Writers and Speakers class participants to write their greatest fear during the first class. The other squares on the Zoom screen write their lists. I have one. She said greatest. I could have written getting divorced, losing my mom to cancer or losing my income; but I’ve experienced those journeys and found many pathways to the well of my soul. There isn’t much left to fear anymore.
“Okay, we’re gonna share one fear with the group,” says the facilitator. “Pick one and know that you are supported to share anything here.”
Share out loud? Isn’t this a writing class? Mostly? My stomach folds into a twist as I sit with crossed legs in my corner leather club chair in my massage studio with walls painted the color of a womb. In my temple to healing, my safe space, looking at the strangers in squares, I evaluate the question: How safe is safe?
“I’m weird,” I say when it is my turn.
“What do you mean?” asks the facilitator.
I take my last breath of anonymity and focus my eyes just above the small white circle of my laptop camera lens, my face as red as the setting sun.
“I see things, spiritual things. Spiritual beings. And talk to them. I am a medical massage therapist and when I work on people, I see the spiritual beings around them, the animals that are working with them to guide their life journey, the settings of their past lives, and the spirits of their recent family members and ancestors who have passed through the veil. I also see people’s spirits which are sometimes not in human form. I have a client who is a mermaid, one who is a pixie and one is a dolphin. I also see people’s original form if their first incarnation was not on Earth, their extraterrestrial form. Also dragons. I work with a council of fourteen galactic dragons. One teaches me inter-dimensional travel when I meditate. They're here for me. Sometimes other people, too. So, that.”
An invisible hand starts to close my throat while I try not to look at anyone on the screen.
“And I feel called to say this out loud, to normalize my experience and let other people know that what they see or hear or feel beyond their five senses is a gift, an awakening! We are all waking up to these experiences. We all have these abilities. We are all remembering who we are!”
Warm tears rise and I feel like it’s the first day of kindergarten. I’m hanging my jacket in the hall locker when the boy next to me says, “Hey, that’s underwear! That goes under. You can’t wear that. We’re not sp’osed to see it.” But I love Wonder Woman. I want to see it. She looks the way I feel.
“Awesome,” said the facilitator. “Who’s next?”
My stomach unfolds; my legs stay folded. I reach for Kleenex and sip my tea beside me. I feel ostracized. Self-inflicted. I glance at the screen, deaf to the next classmate’s confession with all the blood still rushing in my still body. Well, at least they don’t know me.
I glance at the screen again. Six private messages in the chat box. More hot blood rushing. Here comes the stones and torches. But no. As I read each message, they are like nymphs and fairies coming to sit under the wings of a dragon in the storm: ‘I talk to angels,’ ‘I see colors around people,’ ‘I talk to trees.’ ‘I see my grandmother when I go to sleep,’ ‘I feel crystals.’ ‘I see my past lives.’
More than half the class sends me a message, confiding in me their spiritual experiences. I start to cry again - for me, my classmates and for all of humanity feeling afraid to claim their gifts and talents. I dedicate myself to holding workshops, safe sharing circles where people can gather and release the fear of being seen and then be guided into their interior labyrinth where all the answers are waiting for them. I hear a message from my Big Dragon: Call the workshops Trust Yourself. Yes! Because trusting your intuition, your experiences and your questions that command you to seek answers is why we are living this life. Thanks, Big D.
That first writing class was an initiation that asked me: Can you stand in a circle of strangers and show your weird, wild self to them, knowing in your heart that you are weirder and wilder than most? Sacred yes! And one more thing I don’t fear anymore. Whew! What’s next?
Atlantis Wolf is a Shamanic Life Coach and workshop leader who helps people seeking answers to their medical, spiritual or emotional questions with the help of her spirit guides, power animals and galactic dragons. She’s probably hiking in a forest right now. Or drumming by a fire. DragonMedicineWoman@gmail.com.
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